Advice for Beginners

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Start Here

This is by far the best intro to mindfulness meditation that I've read. By, far. It's only 90 pages and covers all the bases with minimal noise. It also includes a CD with six guided meditations that appear to be recordings from a class.
Caution: there were a number of Amazon reviews that mentioned the CD wasn't included. I ordered from Amazon on 2019-03-09 and it clearly said Print + CD so if there's not a CD it's going back.
A note on woo
I don't do woo. If you're interesting in mystic energy or karma or chakras then I'm not gonna be very useful for you. If you're interested in my thoughts on such things then they're over here.
The super short version is that the universe is a whole bunch of quarks or whatever and it not only doesn't care about you, it doesn't even know you exist. Also, no afterlife. Sorry, one and done. The only meaning your life has is the meaning you give it. It's harsh but hopefully it will encourage you to make the best of your one life and use it in a constructive manner.

Step Two

Get an app
They all have free meditations. Try any of them that look interesting. Try them several times. Try all of them several times. TODO: finish this, and the rest of this page
There's detailed comments on the apps over there so the only note I'll add here is that currently (2019-03-10) I don't think Waking Up is a good starting place.

Random Notes...

...have been moved to the Advice on Meditation page for cleaning.

TODO: finish this